How to Live a Free and Purposeful Life by Letting Go of What Holds You Back

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Recently, I spent time with one of my daughters, her husband, and her in-laws. We shared a few days at the beach, and it was a gift. When I think of her now, I feel love, joy, and gratitude—along with a little sadness. She has given her heart to her husband, as it should be. She has grown, created a life that reflects who she is, and surrounded herself with loving, supportive people.

I have always known that part of loving my children meant letting them go. That process began in their teenage years, as it does for most parents. I had dreams for them and opinions about what I thought was best, yet I had to step back and allow them to follow what they felt called to do—and to learn through their own experiences. I had to let go of my ideas about what they should or shouldn’t become.

They were never meant to belong to me. They were entrusted to me for a time. I could offer guidance and care, but I also had to honor the fact that each of them has a life purpose of their own. Once roots are given, love requires us to give them space—to support growth without control, to stay present without hovering.

When I say I let go, I don’t mean I stopped loving or caring. I mean, I resisted the urge to push, direct, or interfere where it wasn't appropriate. I allowed room for becoming.

Saying goodbye to my daughter when I leave always opens something tender in me. The bond remains. A mother’s love doesn’t loosen; it changes shape. I miss her.

She is caring, thoughtful, funny, and creative. As we hugged before I boarded the train, I covered my sadness well. I would never place it on her. I want her free to flourish, to bring into the world the same joy she has always brought to me.

I let her go because I love her.
I encourage her to fly.

To Live Life Fully is a Continuous Letting Go Process

Letting go is an everyday practice.

Perhaps it’s letting go of one dream you thought would work out but didn't, and if you let it go, there is something even better for you around the corner.

It might mean letting go of the frustration of being unable to do physical activities at the level you once could.

Perhaps it's letting go of the expectations you had for relationships that didn’t work out.

Or letting go of business or career dreams that weren’t meant to be, and you need to move on from.

There is a long list of things we can let go of; that's why I encourage making it a daily practice. Here are a few more:

Holding a grudge, not wanting to forgive (this could be a red flag that you need to do some healing on the issue if you have tried to forgive but are still feeling anger, hurt, and resentment).
Limiting Beliefs
Clutter, either emotional or physical clutter
Past Mistakes
Negative Habits
Guilt

There’s grief in letting go. It’s like shedding skin. Letting go means surrendering what you expected for what is.

The reality of what is.

We want what we want when we want it. However, not getting what we want isn’t always a bad thing. Not getting what we want hones and refines us, allowing us to be better people, people of character, wisdom, and depth. Letting go and surrendering are integral to allowing something better into our lives.

Journaling as a Tool for Letting Go

Journaling can be a powerful way to deepen self-awareness and support the letting-go process. When thoughts and emotions are brought into conscious awareness, they often loosen their grip.

If journaling feels supportive for you, set aside 10–20 minutes in a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. You may prefer silence, music, or whatever helps you feel settled and present. There is no right way to do this.

Begin by writing a list of the things you may be struggling to let go of.
Then choose one item from your list and explore it more deeply.

You might ask yourself:

If I were able to let this go, what would I want to replace it with?
What would I like that to look like in my life?
How would it feel?

Write freely, without editing or judging what comes out. Allow your thoughts to move at their own pace. Stay open to whatever emerges, even if it surprises you. This is not about writing well; it’s about being honest.

If you feel stuck or notice resistance, EFT tapping calms the stress response, making it easier for your body and mind to relax. You can return to journaling once things feel more accessible.

As you write, you may also choose to surrender what you’re working on to your higher power—however you understand that loving presence. You might ask for insight or clarity and allow whatever arises to come through your pen. For some, it helps to imagine a quiet, trusting conversation where you ask a question and listen inwardly.

All emotions are welcome here. Anger, sadness, frustration, and uncertainty are part of the human experience. Let go of perfectionism and allow yourself to be exactly as you are.

You may wish to practice this process daily for a week or two.

A question you might explore is:
“What do you say about me?”

Begin writing whatever comes. Messages that arise from a loving, higher source are supportive and encouraging, never shaming or condemning.

If you’d like to explore journaling more deeply, the International Association for Journal Writing offers helpful resources: https://iajw.org/

EFT-Tapping and IFS help you in Letting Go

EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) can support letting go by calming the fear that often keeps us from letting go. Much of our need to control comes from fear—fear of loss, failure, abandonment, or uncertainty. EFT works by regulating the nervous system and easing the stress response, including the fight-or-flight and freeze responses. When the body settles, clarity and movement become possible.

You may notice anger, resentment, or frustration arising toward another person, a situation, or even God. These emotions are not wrong. They point to something that needs attention. EFT can help you work through what sits beneath them, including the beliefs that formed during painful experiences. When emotions are acknowledged and processed, they no longer have to be carried in the same way.

If you’d like to learn more about EFT Tapping, you can find details here:
https://www.gailmae.com/eft-counseling

I also use Internal Family Systems (IFS) in my work with clients. IFS understands the mind as made up of different “parts,” each carrying its own perspective, role, and history. Some parts protect us, some carry pain, and others hold fear or self-criticism. When we learn to listen to these parts rather than fight them, they feel safe to let go.

Journaling can be especially helpful alongside IFS, as it allows you to explore your inner landscape with honesty and curiosity. Over time, this process builds self-awareness, self-acceptance, and compassion—all of which make letting go more accessible.

You can read more about IFS here:
https://gailmae.mykajabi.com/what-is-internal-family-systems

The more awareness and acceptance we bring to ourselves, the less we need to cling to what keeps us stuck. Letting go is not a one-time decision; it is a practice. It requires commitment, honesty, and willingness. The reward is peace of mind—and that is invaluable.

Letting go of what we cannot control creates space for freedom. In surrendering to your higher power, you release the burden of carrying people and situations that were never yours to manage. You allow God to tend to what is beyond your reach.

There is relief in that. God meets us in surrender and offers comfort as we loosen our grip.

My hope is that you experience the same freedom I have found—by letting go of what no longer serves you.

Here is a Prayer of Surrender if you'd like more help with letting go:

Prayer-of-Surrender

Reach out to me if you need support with any of the above. I offer complimentary 20-minute consultations; click on this link, Book a Call. I am happy to chat and see if I can help you. I hope you will experience the same freedom I have received in letting go.

Love,

Gail Mae