How to Flourish with Strong Boundaries and Healthy Life Balance

I notice more and more, as I run my business, that one of the things I find challenging is finding balance. When I decide to do something, it’s all-or-nothing, and I find that taking care of myself can take second place. Here’s an interesting exercise for you to do to see if you have a healthy life balance:

• Fold a piece of paper into four; tear or cut the fourths into separate pieces.

• Write down four people you love the most, one on each piece of paper.

• Now, tear one up and throw it away.

• Then do it with the next and the next until you have one left.

• Who was the last one left? Was it you? Were you even one of the four?

If not, it is interesting to see how you value yourself!

When you are on a plane, the flight attendants instruct parents and caregivers to put on their own oxygen masks before assisting their children. The airline staff know that when parents have oxygen, they can better care for their children. It is the same for you when you take care of yourself first; all those around you will be taken care of better. They may even learn that they need to step up and do a better job rather than have you do all the work. The Bible says, “Love your neighbor as yourself”. The only way to love another is to know what loving yourself looks and feels like.

When you learn to love yourself unconditionally, that love emanates to all those around you.

What is Your Value?

The value that you hold for yourself will also help you see the value others have in your life.

We are a mixture of strengths and weaknesses, and need others to be our strength and support when we are weak, and vice versa. But we are each loved unconditionally by God and have an essential purpose in life. Finding your purpose helps you feel that your contribution is valuable and encourages you to make a positive difference. As we seek to grow and mature emotionally and spiritually, we recognize that our beliefs about ourselves and our purpose are crucial to fulfilling our calling in life.

Spending time in the presence of your higher power and getting to know yourself through the eyes of God, which is loving and encouraging, will help you begin to discover more of your value. I know that many people have a negative experience of God. I understand, and I know some people have been hurt by religion. I am not talking about religion here, but rather about having a relationship with a loving, higher presence. If that is not something you can trust, I encourage you to spend quiet time alone, tuning into and listening to that small, still voice inside of you.

Boundaries

Discussing your value naturally leads to talking about boundaries.

Spend a few minutes of quiet, alone time thinking about where your boundaries are lax or unhealthy. This could be concerning your career needs and your relationships. Our relationships can affect our success.

I have listed some questions below for you to meditate on and answer.

I encourage you to write your answers in your journal. Having a journal or notebook is helpful because you can go back and reread what you wrote at any point in time. You learn a great deal about yourself and gain valuable insights. Handwriting helps us develop a deeper conceptual understanding than just thinking about the answers.

The insights you receive tend to last longer and become more deeply embedded.  

• Are there people who drain your energy? List them down.

• How does their behavior affect your life, mood, or performance when you are around them?

• Is anyone not supporting you or your career in the best way possible? List these down. These could be bosses, managers, agents, friends, and family.

• List down the boundaries you are willing to start putting into practice, e.g., not picking up the phone when people call after 10 p.m., not allowing people to continually criticize you negatively, not allowing people who take advantage of your time, energy, and money without giving back. 

• How does putting these boundaries in place help you to feel? If even thinking about these boundaries causes you anxiety, then try EFT-Tapping. It takes time to change our habits, and we may encounter pushback from those who are accustomed to taking advantage of us. They can be master manipulators. EFT can help you to stand firm and persevere, especially when it is terrifying to stand up for yourself.

• Are there people in your life who are positive, encouraging, loving, and holding you accountable for being the best you? List them down.

• How do you feel around them, and how does their influence affect your work, your sense of self, and how you show up in the world? List these insights down.

• What actions could you take to attract more positive, life-affirming, supportive people?

• What other actions can you take that would be respectful of your emotional health and balance?

Gratitude

• Now list 5 to 10 things you are grateful for.

Always list those things you are grateful for daily; thinking about and acknowledging the good in your life lifts your mood and energy levels.

Life is short, and we only have so much energy. We must establish healthy boundaries around certain people and activities if they are not supportive, including family members.

Don’t let anyone (especially yourself) doubt you or bring you down.

Give to others, yes, of course, and we need to make some sacrifices. I’m not advocating that it be all about you, but remember to strike a balance. If you start to feel exhausted, burned out, resentful, or lose joy in your work, be aware that these feelings are warning signs that should be taken seriously. Ask yourself if you are taking care of yourself and meeting your needs. 

Sometimes, you may grow away from people and need to make changes and adjustments. You may need to let go of relationships that refuse to respect your boundaries, even after you have repeatedly asked them to do so, or you may need to limit your interactions with them. Regarding work, it may mean transitioning to a new work situation with a healthier and more respectful environment. 

I hope you will love your life, see miracles around you, practice gratitude, and live your life to the fullest. I encourage you to believe in yourself and to be passionate about yourself and your work. Shine your light and bring your joy to the world. One easy way to achieve this is by finding balance and establishing healthy boundaries. You're worth it!

If you need support, help, or guidance to establish healthier boundaries or achieve a better life balance, I'm happy to schedule a complimentary 20-minute call. Click this Book a Call button. I'd love to support you in freeing yourself from anything that stands in the way of experiencing freedom and joy in your life.

Love,