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Gain more Emotional Intelligence with EFT and Matrix Reimprinting

beliefs communication competence eft emotional balance emotional intelligence emotions eq leadership listening skills matrix reimprinting nervous system resilience self-awareness stress
How to have Emotional Intelligence

While reading this article by Daniel Goleman, the author of “Emotional Intelligence,” I couldn’t help but agree that having this kind of specific intelligence is essential in every area of our lives.  Mr. Goleman says that knowledge, smarts, and vision are important attributes of a leader as is the ability to identify and monitor emotions while managing relationships. He shares his shortlist of the competencies below.”


Realistic self-confidence: You understand your strengths and limitations; you operate from competence and know when to rely on someone else on the team.

Emotional insight: You understand your feelings. Being aware of what makes you angry, for instance, can help you manage that anger.


Resilience: You stay calm under pressure and recover quickly from upsets. You don’t brood or panic. In a crisis, people look to the leader for reassurance; if the leader is calm, they can be, too.

Emotional balance: You keep any distressful feelings in check — instead of blowing up at people, you let them know what’s wrong and what the solution is.

Self-motivation: You keep moving toward distant goals despite setbacks.


Cognitive and emotional empathy: Because you understand other perspectives, you can put things in ways colleagues comprehend. And you welcome their questions, just to be sure. Cognitive empathy, along with reading another person’s feelings accurately, makes for effective communication.

Good listening: You pay full attention to the other person and take time to understand what they are saying, without talking over them or hijacking the agenda.


Compelling communication: You put your points in persuasive, clear ways so that people are motivated as well as clear about expectations.

Team playing: People feel relaxed working with you. One sign: They laugh easily around you."

How to Develop Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

That’s a great list from Daniel and it is possible to have that emotional intelligence (or Emotional Quotient – EQ). So how do you gain those skills and those competencies, if you are lacking in some area?

Travis Bradbury, co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 says, “As you discover and practice new emotional intelligence skills, the billions of microscopic neurons lining the road between the rational and emotional centers of your brain branch off small “arms” (much like a tree) to reach out to other cells. A single cell can grow 15,000 connections with its neighbors. This chain reaction of growth ensures it’s easier to kick a new behavior into action in the future. 

As you train your brain by repeatedly practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, your brain builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. Before long, you begin responding to your surroundings with emotional intelligence without even having to think about it. And just as your brain reinforces the use of new behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive behaviors will die off as you learn to limit your use of them.”

Neural Pathways and the Nervous System

Yes, that’s true, there is a definite relationship between the neural pathways in the brain and learning new skills. When the parasympathetic nervous system is switched on, those pathways in the brain can function well, having the flexibility they need to reinforce new and positive behaviors. When you are relaxed and calm in your body, you can think more clearly. Oxygen is flowing to your brain, you can breathe more deeply and are present in your body. This gives you the ability to be self-aware of what is going on in your emotions and you can respond to situations more calmly. 

When you are not stressed you can be more emotionally intelligent. However, if we are going through life in a state of fear and anxiety – aka the sympathetic nervous system state, it is difficult to have EQ because all your energy is working towards keeping you safe. When The Stress Response is triggered, your blood is going to your extremities to be ready to fight or flee. Your limbic system (see below) in your brain is checking every interaction, every step you take as “Is this safe?” You are hyper-vigilant because your body is spending every ounce of energy on “keeping you safe” at all costs.  

Your Beliefs

It might only take a few words, a catastrophe at work that you have to handle, a look, a pile of work dumped on your desk, or a fight with your partner for you to be triggered into that sympathetic nervous state. This reaction is connected to what your underlying beliefs are. The beliefs that are deeply ingrained and quite often in your subconscious.

Those beliefs can keep you stuck in a rut that stops you from having the best quality of emotional intelligence. Remember those neural pathways? They can’t fire up with positive thoughts if you are stuck in a fearful state because of negative beliefs. You can’t think your way out of those fears that are programmed in, usually from when you were young.

Why EFT can help us gain EQ

EFT is an effective tool that allows energy to flow freely in the body again, oxygen back into the brain, and homeostasis in the body (parasympathetic state). You can let go of your fears and can be open to new positive mindsets and beliefs.

If you are running subconscious beliefs such as: “I’m not good enough, I don't measure up, I can't handle this, I’m not safe,” there is a way out. Imagine the difference if your beliefs were, “I’m safe, I am good enough, I might make mistakes but they are fixable.”

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting help you change negative beliefs

The beliefs that are running you 95% of the time come from your subconscious. Your beliefs cause your thoughts, your thoughts cause your emotions and feelings. We have 70,000 thoughts a day, notice how many of them are negative. You might know how you are supposed to respond in certain situations, yet underneath your calm mask, your stomach is churning, your heart is racing, your palms sweating and you are tense all over. You may not be exploding in anger or tears but you know you are triggered and you find it hard to respond in a balanced and calm way. That’s a huge tax on your body, which leads to physical and emotional stress. You don’t want that either and especially not on a daily basis. That can lead to adrenal fatigue.

It’s possible to upgrade our beliefs 

It is possible to overcome these subconscious triggers. In the past, there were times I had little or no emotional intelligence. It took me years of searching for me to learn the best techniques to overcome my fears and be more emotionally intelligent. You can too!

It’s my passion to help others transform negative subconscious beliefs and thereby gain EQ. You can live your best life and impact the world around you in a positive and healthy way. 

If you are interested in finding out more about my work, I’m happy to jump on a complimentary 20-minute discovery call. Click this link “Book a Call” to schedule yourself at a time that works for you.

“Simply, working with Gail changed my life. The shift in thinking and moving through the day was dramatic. I had been stuck for a long time. Self-doubt, fear, and resentment were the norm. Gail’s mix of tapping, EFT, IFS, Matrix Reimprinting, talk (sounds daunting . . . process a smooth, safe surrender) released much that was old and made room for the new (how about some acceptance, forgiveness, hope . . . Wonderful). You will be amazed by Gail’s graceful presence, the powerful dance of her practice, and the result. Truly a gift – the changer and the change.” ~ Sam Mulcahy

The Limbic System - supports many functions, including emotion, behavior, motivation, long-term memory, and olfaction. It is the part of the brain involved in behaviors we need for survival: feeding, reproduction, caring for our young, and fight-or-flight responses. 

Mr. Goleman is the author of “Emotional Intelligence”, and “The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Leadership”.

Travis Bradbury is the co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and CEO of TalentSmart




Gail Mae

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