Recently I spent some time with my eldest daughter, her husband and her in-laws. We had a great time at the beach. When I think of her, I feel a mixture of love, joy, gratitude and also a little sadness because she has given her heart to her husband - as it should be. She has grown up and created her life the way she wants and has expanded her circle of friends. She lives on the other side of the country and we don’t get to see them all that often, especially during the pandemic.
I knew I had to let go of some control of each of my children and that process began when they were in their teens. I had dreams for them, believed I knew what was best for them but I also knew that once I gave them roots, I had to let them find who they were, separate from my husband and myself, and to do what they were called to do. I prayed a lot that they would be safe and when I say I had to let go, I mean I didn’t push them, or hover but allowed them the space to find themselves, to try new things, the things they felt called to do.
Saying goodbye, always puts a deeper crack in my heart because that bond is always there, that mother love.
My daughter is caring, thoughtful, funny and creative. As we hugged before I left on the train to come home, I cover my sadness well, I would never put pressure or a guilt trip on her. I let her go to flourish and bring to others the joy she brings to me.
And so I’ve discovered that life to be lived fully is a continuous letting go. Perhaps it’s letting go of one dream for another. Letting go of the physical activities you could once do and can’t now. Letting go of expectations of relationships you thought would work out but didn’t. Letting go of business or career dreams that weren’t meant to be.
There’s grief in letting go. It’s like shedding a skin. Letting go means surrendering what you expected for what is.
The reality of what is.
We want what we want when we want it. However, not getting what we want isn’t always a bad thing. Not getting what we want hones and refines us, giving us the opportunity to be better people, people of character, wisdom and depth. Letting go and surrendering is a part of allowing something better into our lives. Here’s a couple of journaling questions:
Make a list of the things you might be struggling to let go of?
If you let go, what might the something better be, or what would you like it to be?
Choose one of those things on your list and work on letting it go to God (or whatever you call that higher presence) for one to two weeks everyday. Let me know what happens, I would love to know how it went for you.
Sometimes we don’t know the answers but having faith and perseverance to wait for the answers will reap results for you.
In this process of never giving up - while letting go - is the mettle you need for a successful, well-lived life. Letting go will open the door for new and greater possibilities around the corner.
Letting go of those things we have no control over (i.e: other people, pandemics etc) gives you freedom, peace and dare I say, joy. In letting go and surrendering to God, you are letting God take care of those people and events you don't have control over. God wants to share our burdens, and comforts us in our surrender.
Here is a Prayer of Surrender if you'd like some help with letting go:
Reach out to me if you need some support with that and let me know how it goes. My hope is that you would experience the same freedom that I have received in letting go and in surrendering.
Lots of love always,
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